How you talk to yourself and others is VITAL for your success. It programs your subconscious mind and effects the way you behave and make decisions. This can be the difference between success and failure.
Do you say the right things for success?
Here’s what to avoid saying (the best one is at the end BTW)…
(If you can think of any more, please share them in the comments bellow)
It can’t be done
Unsuccessful people say things can’t be done. History is littered with people who did things that “can’t be done”. To be successful you often have to innovate. You cannot innovate without believing you can do something that hasn’t been done before.
Don’t let your abilities stop you. Learn a new skill, or hire someone to do it. Bill Gates stopped programming in the 80’s, and paid more talented programmers to do it for him.
I can do it all myself
Maybe you can, but if you do, you are likely to become a one man band running a small business. Sometimes you need to outsource to specialists who are better than you at certain tasks.
Don’t trust anyone
Trust is vital when running a business. Lack of trust will hold you back. You will be too fearful to do anything.
You must trust employees if you want to get the best out of them. You must trust customers not to abuse guarantees. And you must trust in your own abilities.
I’m frightened of criticism
If you become successful, you WILL receive criticism. Someone will disagree with something you do. Listen and learn, but don’t let it stop you pursuing your plan of action. There are many negative people out there that would rather put you down than work on their own plan for success. Don’t let them drag you down to their level.
I’m right, you’re wrong
You can’t be right ALL the time. It doesn’t make you look weak admitting you’re wrong. It makes you look strong. It also gives you the opportunity to learn from other peoples’ experiences.
I like to please everyone
Many people fail because they try to please everyone. If you do then you are likely to get nowhere. For example, people in your life will probably want you to play safe and get a “proper job”. If you please them you won’t go far.
Everyone has different opinions on what you should do. Listen to them, but find your own way.
It’s too risky
You can’t be successful without taking some risks. Don’t be reckless, but be prepared to take a chance.
It’s not my fault
It’s fine for things to go wrong – at least you’re trying. Things ALWAYS go wrong. Learn from them and laugh at them. It’s how you handle them that counts. If you are fearful of mistakes, then you will be too afraid to try new things.
If you don’t take responsibility for things going wrong, then it implies that those around you are at fault. This is not the way to build team unity.
I’ll be successful one day
“One day” never happens. Convince yourself you are successful NOW, and be grateful for all you have, and all you’ve already achieved.
THE MOST important lesson you can learn towards your success is how to be a person of action. Know why?
It’s because you can have the greatest and most creative idea in the world – but if you don’t act on it, it’s useless.
An average idea is more valuable in the hands of a doer, than a genius idea in the hands of a don’ter. Ideas alone get you nowhere. They must be followed by action.
Are you a doer or a don’ter?
I want you to be totally honest, which do you consider yourself to be? Many people consider themselves doers, but are really don’ter. You MUST be honest with yourself if you are to improve your thinking.
Here’s a few questions to help you…
Do you blame your personal circumstance and people around you for why you cannot create or take opportunities?
When you have an exciting business idea., do you think of reasons why it might fail, then talk yourself out of it?
If you have an unpleasant task to do, do you leave it whilst you build up your courage, only to find the more you think about it, the more frightening it becomes?
You wake in the morning, do you think about all the things you’re going to do, and put off getting up until the last minute?
Don’t worry if you’ve just discovered you’re a bit of a don’ter – the majority of people are. The good news is that you can change.
How to be a doer
The easiest way to become a doer is to stop thinking and simply do – like the Nike slogan “Just Do It”.
The thought of doing something is nearly always scarier than actually doing it. The more you think about it, the more your mind whirls around thinking of things that MIGHT go wrong. This gets your stomach in knots, and you associate the task with dreaded fear that spirals deep to the pit of your stomach.
Instead of over thinking, get on with it.
If you have an important phone call to make, just pick up the phone and ring. Don’t plan what you’re going to say. Just grab the phone, dial the number, then talk. Trust yourself to react to the situation. You know how to talk don’t you?
If you have a business idea, then it’s not usually prudent to go gung-ho and start it with no thought at all. However you must accept that you will never have all the bases covered. There is NEVER a perfect business, and NEVER a perfect time to start. Have faith that you will deal with problems when they arise – which they always will.
The same goes for family matters. If you are thinking of getting married, buying a house, or having a baby, then there is NEVER a perfect time. Things WILL go wrong. If you let the possibility of something going wrong deter you, then you won’t get anything done.
Learn from your mistakes
Many people are fearful of making mistakes, but this doesn’t make sense. Learning is about doing things you couldn’t do previously. Like learning to walk, you must stand and wobble at first. You will fall down a few times, but always get back up and try again, learning a bit more each time. If as a child you were too frightened to try, you wouldn’t be able to walk to this day.
Mistakes are inevitable when you start something new. All you need to do is learn from them, and carry on. Each time you will be a little wiser because of it.
Remember, we are not on this Earth forever. Don’t spend your life failing to act. This will cause you more misery and unhappiness than you might believe.
Look at all the successful people you know either personally or have heard of. They are ALL people of action. They put themselves on the line, make mistakes, learn from them, and jump back up.
They don’t allow the small talk of others put them off. They live life on their own terms, and get their rewards for doing so.
Don’t become another mediocre person living a mediocre life. Have the courage to chase your dreams. Your life will be more colourful and interesting than ever before. Give yourself the life you deserve…
One BIG tactic of advertisers is to make you feel bad about yourself, then offer their product or service as a solution. In an attempt to feel good, you buy their product.
However you don’t always buy their products. What then? You’re left with something in your subconscious saying that you are inadequate.
You might not have the latest phone, clothes or car. Maybe you don’t have the perfect beach body, or that Hollywood smile. You’ve been offered the Golden Ticket to solve this, but you’ve declined. Your subconscious naturally nags away at you.
Your subconscious will tell you to buy the product, but your conscious knows better. However something deep inside you no longer feels quite right.
Take a look at this advert against smoking. It’s obvious aim is to terrify you into thinking that smoking rapidly ages you. It’s aim is largely good, because smoking is detrimental to your health. But what if you don’t quit smoking after seeing this?
The suggestions drift into your subconscious mind, leaving you worried about your health. The advertisers might be trying to help your physical health, but this could be at the expense of your mental health.
Worry is bad for your health.
Think of all the negatively charged adverts you take in every day. They may be on the TV, the radio, advertising boards, newspapers, magazines – they’re EVERYWHERE.
With all these messages telling you how inadequate you are, it’s no wonder you can feel down about yourself at times.
You can reduce your exposure to adverts. Turn down TV during the adverts, ignore adverts in magazines etc. But unless you put blinkers on, they;re going to get to you.
It’s time to fight back!
I have created a subliminal called “Feel Good About Yourself”. This session contains several positive affirmations that will help you feel good about yourself again.
This helps redress the balance. A nice dose of positive suggestions will help fight off all those negative ones you’re exposed to…
One teaspoon of sugar weighs about 5g. That equates to 20 calories per teaspoon of sugar.
Someone who drinks 5 cups per day, with 2 sugars in each, will consume 200 calories per day. That’s a whopping 6000 calories in a month.
If you can reduce that by half, you are saving 3000 calories per month. And this is achieved by making a small tweak to your lifestyle.
Here’s how to reduce your sugar intake…
I will talk about this in terms of reducing from two sugars to one. This method can be adapted to your needs. You may want to reduce from 3 to 2, or 1 to half.
OK, here it is…
To reduce your sugar from 2 to 1, all you need to do is put 1 sugar in your cup, and fill it half way. Drink half the amount you normally do, and it will taste the same. Congratulations, you have instantly reduced your sugar intake by half. That was quick wasn’t it?!
OK, there is a bit more to it…
What will probably happen over time is that you will gradually add a bit more water so that you get a larger drink. We all have a natural inclination to want more. No problem as long as you keep it down to 1 sugar.
After a few weeks, you will probably be up to a full cup, and will barely have noticed the difference in taste, as the change has been so gradual. The 1 sugar will now taste just right to you.
Although it can be done by simply reducing your sugar and putting up with the different taste, not many people stick to it. They don’t like the taste and quickly wonder “What’s the point?”.
By using this method, you don’t have to spend a few weeks putting up with a bad tasting cuppa’. True it’s smaller to begin with, but it will satisfy you.
Give it a go and see how it works for you. I would be very interested to hear your story in the comments below…
If you’re reading this then you’re probably caught in two minds. You like drinking for enjoyment, but you know that too much is bad for you.
There’s nothing wrong with the odd drink, but too much can take its toll. It leads to weight gain and increases your risk of heart disease and diabetes. It also hits you in the pocket. That stuff’s not cheap.
Cutting down drinking has many benefits. It improves your health, your relationships, your sex life, and your bank balance. Drinking too much alcohol can be draining. Going to work or looking after children with a hangover can make things 10 times more difficult.
Why do people drink too much?
There are many reasons people drink too much.
You may have children and find it difficult to leave the house for entertainment. What’s easier than grabbing a bottle or two and having a drink whilst watching a good movie?
Perhaps you get bored easily and want an easy form of entertainment?
There’s nothing wrong with drinking some alcohol. It can help you relax and forget your troubles for a while.
The problem is when you do this most nights.
When you drink most nights, this stops your body from getting a rest from it. As well as the health issues, a more profound thing happens to you…
Your tolerance levels massively increase when you drink regularly. You may need twice as much alcohol to get the same effect. This means more poison in your system, more calories, and more cost.
How to drink less alcohol
So how do you drink less?
First you must find the reason why you drink so much. Look honestly at yourself and your life. Why do you think you drink too much? If you need outside help, ask your partner or a close friend. Here’s a few popular reasons…
A LOT of people drink regularly due to boredom. They might have children, or a job they have to get up early for, so don’t want to leave the house. An easy way to occupy yourself is to have a drink.
The obvious answer to this problem is to stop being bored. Find hobbies which keep you occupied. Try joining a gym or a running club in the evening. Enrol on an evening class in something you’ve always wanted to do. If that doesn’t float your boat, think of something else you can do. There is stuff out there.
If leaving the house is difficult, then find hobbies you can do at home. Learn a musical instrument, paint or draw, learn a foreign language etc.
2. Partner drinks
I know it can be more difficult to refrain from drinking if someone is drinking around you. However you cannot blame them. You are ultimately responsible for what you put in your body. If you play the blame game then it’s going to be difficult for you to reduce your drinking.
Perhaps you can persuade them to take a few nights off. Try doing other things together such as going for an evening walk, salsa dancing or visiting friends or family.
If you cannot persuade them, then perhaps you should do these things on your own. By joining them with their drinking you are re-enforcing their behaviour. They can get into a comfortable rut drinking with you most nights, and you’re facilitating this.
Don’t be nasty about it, but leave them to it and go entertain yourself. After a while of not joining them for a drink all the time, they may join you in some of your activities. Especially if they see you’re happier for it.
3. Forget troubles
The problem with drinking to forget your troubles is that your troubles return the next day. It doesn’t solve anything.
Drinking to forget your troubles does not help you build up your coping strategies. By refraining from drinking you are forced to confront them. This may be painful at first, but it gives you opportunity to toughen up and find ways of dealing with life’s difficulties. Then you can start to find real solutions to your problems.
Alcohol is a depressant, so it actually makes things worse in the long run.
For “problems” in your life, look at ways of finding solutions. If you’ve got money problems then perhaps a part time job would help? Not only will you have more money, it will keep you occupied and away from the booze. And as we all know, alcohol is not cheap!
4. Gives confidence
Many people drink because it gives them confidence. But once the effects wear off, the confidence goes. Then you need more drink.
A surprisingly small amount of regular drinkers are actually addicted. If you get the shakes when you’re without a drink, or cannot go without it for one night, then you are probably addicted. Seek medical help.
If you are addicted, then cutting down might not be enough. You may have to go teetotal. Some people are unfortunate and have very addictive personalities. The only way to combat an addiction if this is the case is to totally kick it out of your life.
Do you drink for any other reason than these suggestions? Perhaps it’s a combination of a few of them. Whatever the reason, there are many tactics you can employ to reduce your drinking.
Here’s some suggestions to help you reduce your alcohol intake. Not all will work for everyone. Find the ones that work best for you…
Schedule non drinking nights
Set aside nights where you will definitely not drink. For example you might decide not to drink Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. This gives your body chance to recover from the nights when you do drink.
It also stops you having super human tolerance levels. When you have some nights off, you should find that you drink less on your drinking nights.
Leave it later
If you decide to have a drink, leave it later before you start. This gives you less time to drink as much. That is unless you have a “catch up” mindset. Set yourself a time for when you can start drinking, and stick to it. But don’t race them down to make up for lost time.
How about giving yourself a cut off time when to stop drinking? This gives you chance to drink a non alcoholic drink or 2, which will help you next day. Some people brush their teeth when it’s time to stop drinking because it makes it taste bad.
Buy exciting non alcoholic drinks
Instead of buying alcohol, buy some nice non alcoholic drinks. You could even get into making “mocktails” – non alcoholic cocktails. Buy some fruit and make smoothies. They’re healthier and cheaper – even if you buy expensive fruits and juices.
You could try using smaller glasses when drinking alcohol. This works for some people. The trick is not to bring the bottle next to you. Leave it somewhere where you have to get up for a refill.
Drink the odd non alcoholic drink
When drinking alcohol, throw in the odd non alcoholic drink. At least have one half way through the night, and one at the end. This makes a big difference to how you feel the next day.
Avoid rounds with maniacs!
Drink at your own pace rather than the local beer monster’s. Drinking at someone else’s pace means you ignore your own mind and body telling you to slow down or stop. This trains you to be capable of drinking more next time.
Avoid drinks high in alcohol
To me, spirits should be used to clean your plug holes. If you must drink them, make sure you mix them with plenty of non alcoholic stuff.
If you’re drinking them neat you can get a high amount of alcohol in your system in a short space of time – not good. If you’re drinking at home, buy a measurer or use the cap to measure how much you’re having.
There’s nothing wrong with having a drink and research suggests that moderate drinking is actually good for you. However it’s easy to fall down the slippery slope of drinking too much. Find the tactics that work for YOU, and take control of your drinking levels. Enjoy drinking alcohol, but don’t abuse it.
Here’s what a few friends say about how to reduce your alcohol intake…
Denise Limongello, LMSW
Psychotherapist in private practice in NYC
Complete abstinence from alcohol can be a daunting endeavor for someone who is not ready to give it up, entirely. Here are some guidelines on how to reduce alcohol intake:
*Leave the Bar:* Studies show that choosing alternative activities such as movies, theatre, and game-nights where the activity is not centred around drinking is a great way to avoid alcohol on any given night. Implementing more than one of these alternative nights per week can help reduce the frequency of drinking significantly over time.
*Keep The Glass*: People often enjoy the rituals associated with drinking such as drinking out of a wine glass or the act of preparing a cocktail. Studies indicate that people often maintain negative habits out of fear that they will lose a routine that has become familiar. A great way to keep familiarity is to maintain certain aspects of a ritual. For example, one can opt to drink seltzer out of a wine glass to replace the act of drinking wine without losing the ritual.
*Cut Em’ Out*: Studies show that people who struggle with excessive drinking often feel a social pressure to drink. A good way to cut back on drinking can be to avoid those social situations where alcohol is consistently present. For example, planning to meet a drinking buddy for coffee instead of a routine happy hour can eliminate the pressure to drink while maintaining the relationship and consistent contact.
Shannon Battle, LCAS, LPC, CSOTS Clinical Director, Family Services of America
As a Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist, I work with individuals who have tried everything to reduce their alcohol consumption except understanding what makes them drink.
Removing alcohol from your home, car, work, etc., can be helpful, however, it likely will not be the long term solution. You have to understand what triggers you to want to drink. Many have developed patterns of habit over time that they cannot even remember what initiated the excess drinking.
Start by writing down everything you can think of that causes you to want to drink. Then before you drink write down what you believe is causing the enticement to drink. Once you can determine the “why” of what you’re doing then you can start moving towards building successful interventions that will help to significantly reduce your level of consumption.
I am sold on the notion that everything starts with a thought. If you can get your thoughts in order then you recognize what’s necessary to implement change.